Earlier this week I spoke about radiance to a group of 25 women and the talk generated a lot of profound discussions. Whatever relationship with style and fashion women have, every woman I know wants to look and feel radiant.
Radiance is somewhat of a magical quality, isn’t it? A dictionary definition says it is “light as emitted by something” (or someone!). It’s as simple as that: when we are radiant, we emit our light into the world. I believe, and I know many will agree, this is a big part of our purpose here, if not the purpose itself.
How do we “become” radiant?
For me, above all, it’s a feeling. I know I am naturally radiant when I feel good in my body, when I feel a sense of lightness (the opposite of overwhelm), when I appreciate who I am, when I am in love with my life. Do you know the feeling?
Often in these moments your light is seen and reflected by others around you. This is when people want to be in your company, when you receive compliments, when you light up a room. Do you know those occasions when you are told you are glowing and asked for your secret but you know you have not done anything out of ordinary?
Radiance is powerful. When you allow yourself to be radiant, not only does it feel great for you but also it benefits those around you who are touched by your light.
However, despite our best intentions, a lot of the time we feel anything but radiant around this time of the year. Can you relate?
You may be feeling stressed, tired, uninterested in anything but sleeping, busy, scattered. I have been there myself the other day. We try hard to do everything on our to-do list before the holidays, while also doing festive activities and wanting to look great on little sleep. No, it is not easy to shine when we are tired and overstretched, especially taking into consideration we are in the darkest time of the year and our energy is naturally low.
So here is what I discovered on own journey and by working with other women about connecting with your inner light.
Radiance cannot be forced, it’s a natural quality.
Radiance is both the internal and the external. Neither should be ignored. I know women who mostly focus on the external. But even the best make up in the world cannot compensate for a lack of self-love and self-approval. Equally, focusing only on the internal, you deprive yourself from an opportunity to feel good from looking good, to connect with your physicality.
So if we cannot force it or put it on with make up, what do we do then?
I love this quote from Marianne Williamson:
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
I suggest starting with accepting that you already have a light that wants to radiate. Something may be blocking or dimming it at times, but it’s there. Maybe you already feel connected to your inner light but you want to shine even brighter.
Slow down and connect with your joy. If you can spare a day to reconnect with yourself, that is wonderful. However, even 30 minutes of grounding into your truth will make a difference.
I find the best way to connect with my truth is to ask myself questions. Often we just run on autopilot without checking in with ourselves and when we finally relax, things start coming up.
Here are some useful questions:
“How do I want to feel right now and how do I want to feel this festive season?”
“What makes me feel good?”
“What brings me joy?”
I suggest you make a joy or feel good list and commit to at least one or two items from your list as soon as you can before the holidays begin.
Get back into your body. Radiance is an embodied quality.
“What do I love about myself?”
“How can I embody it more?”
“What do I love about my body?”
“How can I dress to express more of the woman I want to be this festive season?”
See what emerges for you when you ask yourself these. You may be surprised!
When it comes to cultivating radiance, here are my favourite tips:
- Wear beautiful lingerie, just for yourself, every day,
- Invest in luxurious pyjamas because you deserve it,
- Buy yourself some flowers,
- Wear a colour that makes you feel great,
- Drink your tea from the most beautiful tea cup you can find, do it mindfully,
- Pause and take a few deep delightful breaths. Feel your body relax. Visualise all inner blockages hiding your light are being removed with each breath,
- Forget stressful pre-holiday last-minute outfit shopping, instead wear a stylish statement necklace, this brings attention to your face and increases your glow,
- When getting dressed on festive days, try something new, expressing a part of you, you don’t normally show,
- Gift someone a compliment from all your heart (you need to mean it). When we see beauty and radiance in others, it means it is a reflection of our own beauty.
Enjoy feeling and looking radiant.
Have a wonderful festive season!
