Balance between being and doing

Yesterday, I found myself on a verge of breaking into tears on a flight to Spain. I was trying to do some work on the flight, so I would be able to spend three days disconnected from technology, to-do lists and emails, enjoying precious time with my family, sunshine and delicious food and wine. I had a lot of work to catch up on during the two hour flight: content writing, marketing copy, assignments due as part of the course I am doing. However, we were passing through a very turbulent patch and I felt too unwell to do any work, even reading was a struggle.

I had to face the reality. Even though on the surface, everything was beautiful. I was doing the work I love en route to Barcelona, my third long weekend trip in the past 6 weeks after Sicily and Belgium. But I felt stressed, rushed and quite tired.

It wasn’t until my partner asked me why I was reacting so strongly to something that insignificant that I realised I had been spending too much time in the “doing mode” over the past weeks.

For us women, a balance between doing and being is essential. Yet, it is so easy to forget about the need to just be, which allows us to reconnect with our feminine energy, especially when we are growing, building our own business, aiming for new visions.

I will be honest with you. I thought this doing – being balance would be easier when you are living your life and creating success on your own terms. It is one thing when a woman has a job she is not fulfilled by. I know from personal experience that finding time for stillness and feeling in balance is quite difficult in that situation. But now I see that the balance between doing and being is even more essential for those of us who are creating our dream lifestyle through passion-based business because it is very tempting to see doing as something that should bring us pleasure and well-being.

Don’t fall into this trap.

Focusing mostly on doing in your life, even if it is doing to create the life of your dreams, can still lead to burnout, loss of motivation and emotional turbulence.

These are some typical signs that a woman is spending too much of her time in a “doing mode”:

• Possible digestive issues, as you may be working over lunch or eating your food too quickly;
• A feeling that you are always behind on your to-do list (It is ironic that when you are in this state, the more you do, the more there is still to do;
• Emotional reactions to insignificant events;
• Brain noise and a feeling of overwhelm;
• A feeling of disconnectedness from your body.

Another trap to avoid is thinking that just because you are doing yoga three times per week and meditate every day, you are ticking off the being box. From personal experience and from talking to many women about this, it’s not what we do, but how we do it that makes all the difference. It is possible to approach yoga and meditation with a very driven, masculine energy – as I have realised I was for the past few weeks – seeing it as something you have to “do” rather than experience, allow, receive. When you approach it that way, you are limiting the benefits of these experiences.

So what can we do instead to bring more balance between doing and being, between our masculine and feminine energies?

This is what I am committing to at the moment and I invite you to join me:

1. Sensual eating

Often, how you consume food is very telling of how you consume life. Slowing down to savour every meal with all my senses helps me to savour every day of my life in a similar way. It makes me more mindful of what brings me pleasure and reconnects me with my body. Food is one of the greatest pleasures in life for me. I know this will be easy to shift into when I am in Spain where fresh fruit and vegetables and delicious seafood is the norm.

2. Notice beauty that is around you

Beauty is so powerful. It has a unique ability to bring you back to present moment, enhance your pleasure instantly and remind you of what is really important in life. For me, it has the power to connect me to my purpose.

3. Focus on receiving

Shifting focus from doing to receiving opens you to experiencing ease and flow in your life. Don’t just focus on what you need to do or accomplish every day, think of what you want to allow into your life – support, love, pampering, a connection, a client, a vision, beauty. Remember, you won’t need to do anything to invite this into your life, your only task is to be open to receiving it.

4. Play

Play is magical. It always reconnects you to your feminine energy. The purpose of play is to have fun and enjoy yourself. There is no attachment to the end result. What could be a simpler way to return to being? Playful attitude is not for leisure time only. It will help to transform your work too.

5. Swap your to-do list for a daily vision

This powerful technique was introduced to me by one of my mentors and I absolutely love it. Instead of writing a list of what you need to do or accomplish every day, spend ten minutes connecting with your vision for that day. To-do lists can be very one-dimensional, a vision is a more holistic way to think about your day. You will become aware of what you want to experience and enjoy, you will become aware of what emotions your are seeking to feel. If you are particularly brave, do this on a very busy day and see what happens.

 

I would love to hear from you.

Do you easily slip into a doing and action driven routine, forgetting the pleasure and importance of just being? What helps you to bring the balance into your life?

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