I have a question for you: do you know your value?
This is the question I have been asking myself this week, as I was preparing to make a decision about an opportunity to invest in myself that has presented itself. The financial, emotional, mental commitment that is required is significant. Very often in the past, I, as many other people, jumped straight into the financial commitment, without considering anything else, and let it dictate what the decision is.
This is what we are used to, this is how the world works today: if you can’t put a number on something, if you can’t prove it, measure it, then it’s not important.
Of course numbers and ability to measure results or values are important. But it is a very limiting view when it comes to personal value. How you do measure a value of a human being in numbers?
In the past, when I told myself a coaching programme, a course, an experience, a luxury I desired was not worth it, what in essence I was saying was I am not worth this much money without even realising it.
Today, I know I am worthy of luxurious experiences
I know I am not the only one who used to unconsciously question my value when it came to investing in me. Over the past months, I have had conversations with friends and colleagues, and it really saddens me that so many beautiful, intelligent, loving, shiny women question their value.
Many of women I know keep comparing themselves to others, to their peers, friends, pushing themselves to live their lives according to someone else’s terms and standards. This leads to burnout, exhaustion and there is no pleasure in living this way.
Luxuries are not always defined by price. I buy myself flowers every week is a luxury I love
I am glad to see more women opening up to allowing themselves luxuries and experiences that bring them pleasure, but there are so many that still deprive themselves.
So many women are still unable to fully receive a gift or a compliment or, most importantly, their own beauty.
All this comes down to not knowing and accepting your value.
How can you define, accept and own your value?
Before I go into the three steps to connect with you value, I am want to share with you the common misbeliefs that I have noticed in the way many people see value and self-worth.
Common Misbeliefs About Value
1. Other people decide what your value is
For some time in my life, I believed that my value is decided by people around me: potential employers, bosses, colleagues, friends, parents, boyfriends. Whenever someone told me that I need to own my worth and gift, I would argue that it was not up to me to decide whether I get a job, a promotion or a date, I can only show them what I can do, then it is up to them to decide on the value of that. This, as you can imagine, was not the most empowering position to be in. In fact, by letting others define my value, I gave away all my power.
2. Your value is enhanced by your achievements and hard work
This is one of the most common limiting beliefs I see when it comes to value. Many believe that their value is defined by how hard they try and what they are capable of doing, achieving and earning. In other words the harder you work, the greater your value.
You may share a similar belief and will even argue that there is nothing misleading about it, as I know so many of the people I love would.
However, there is something wrong with letting what you can do or how hard you work define your value. This implies you need to prove your value. Proving gets you to focus on convincing, pleasing others and takes you away from your natural confidence, your desires, pleasure. At the end of the day, we cannot really influence what others think, feel or believe about us, no matter how much effort we put in.
How to know your Value
1. Your value is defined by you, nobody else
Defining your value is your responsibility. You need to recognise how beautiful, talented, intelligent, kind you are before you can expect the same of others.
What do you know about yourself today? What value you know you have and wish to share with the world?
2. Recognition (or lack of it) from others when it comes to your value is a mirror of how you relate to it
Not feeling valued? Now that you know it is your responsibility to value yourself before expecting it from others, ask yourself, where am I not recognising my value.
For, example, do you feel your boss does not appreciate your efforts and does not see you potential? Ask yourself, where am I not recognising my potential? Do I feel the need to overcompensate by working hard to prove myself instead of recognising my skills and talents?
3. Pay attention to how you recognise value in others
Think about the people you love in your life, the people you value. Is the way you value them driven by what they do? Unlikely. It is probably defined by who they are. The same applies to you. Your value is defined by who you are not what you do or how much of it you do.
If you are struggling to recognise your value, think of three people you love what their value is. Now, while you are in this beautiful energy, do the same for yourself. Write it down and put somewhere where you can see it regularly.
I would love to hear from you.
What was helpful for you in this blog? How do you define your own value?
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Complimentary Lifestyle Enhancement Session
Are you ready to discover your true value and clearly define it for yourself so that you can begin to live the life you desire without compromises starting from today, knowing that you fully deserve it? Then I invite you to book a complimentary Lifestyle Enhancement Session with me today to receive clarity on your value and prioritise your life according to it.
