What to do when you don’t know what you want

In a world where we are bombarded with information and images every second, it is becoming increasingly difficult to hear the voice of our own desire. We are constantly being told what we may need or want, be it from ads, fashion magazines or useful articles. And even if like me, you don’t watch television or read news all the time, the online and social media world is as overwhelming. In the entrepreneurial world, I have noticed, increasingly everyone is sharing their inspiration and achievements and their tips on what to do to get there. If you are new to the entrepreneurial world, it is easy to get lost in the sea of messages being posted daily through social media, being left with confusion instead of inspiration.

With so much thinking done for us, it is not surprising that underneath all this, we struggle to identify what it is we want. If you have left the world of permanent employment recently, where a lot of the thinking is done for you and the system does not really encourage you to get in touch with your own voice and desires, it may be very comforting to find answers externally in your own business. After all, there are plenty of competent and more experienced entrepreneurs and coaches around you, so the smartest thing to do is follow them to achieve success (whatever this word means to you) quickly.

Only it does not work like this in the world of entrepreneurship. To be successful you need to take full responsibility for your business and your life and yes, this includes your desires. It took me months after deciding to leave my corporate job to get in touch with my own desires (not what I thought I should desires based on the examples of others or common sense).

Not knowing is a very common problem, especially for us women. This week alone I spoke to 3 who in one way or another struggled with not knowing what they want in business. I am very familiar with this feeling too, having been stuck in this place many times.

In reality, you do know, it is just that you don’t trust yourself to express it and then follow this knowing. Knowing is a responsibility. And a lot of the time it is so tempting to have someone else to fix it for us, to tell us what to do, to hand us a solution.

As tempting as it is, having someone else tell us what to do or want, won’t actually help. In many cases it will send you further away from your true desire. Why? Because only you know what you want and only you have the power to get it. Think about it for a minute. Isn’t it empowering?

There are techniques, habits and awarenesses that will help you to connect with what you truly desire. These have been helpful in my life and I would like to share them with you.

How to know what you want

1. Get into a habit of expressing what you want event if it feels insignificant, for example by expressing a preference about where to go for dinner instead of letting someone else make the decision or choosing a scarf you really want to wear instead of wearing the first thing you find in your drawer. This way you are building the muscle.

2. Not knowing what you want is a lack of trust in yourself. List situations where you know or knew in the past what you really wanted and how you were able to manifest it. Read the list whenever you feel a lack of trust in yourself.

3. Take the pressure off the end result. You are afraid of expressing, even if only to yourself, what you want because you are afraid you may not get it or, worse, you will get it and it won’t satisfy you. The process of identifying and following your desire is not only about the end result. Regardless of the end result you will grow and receive new knowledge and clarity that will enable you to take the next step.

4. Beware of  using the “I don’t know” strategy as distraction from doing what really can make a difference. For example, you may be spending all your time deciding about the colours for your website and telling yourself that unless you figure this out, you cannot move with anything else in your business. But if you are honest with yourself, you know that replying to that invite to write a guest blog or contacting that person who expressed an interest in your services last week is what will bring you closer to your desire of being successful in your business.

5. Pay attention to how often you ask others for answers or advice, especially family or friends, who will naturally want to “save” you. There is a difference between asking for guidance for you to implement taking full responsibility for the end result and asking for a solution expecting it to fix everything for you. Often, what we need instead of external solution is head space and someone who can listen to us, so that we can find the solution within us.

6. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to figure the right answer to what we want. I have witnessed many women in this situation. The paradox is when you are trying so hard to find the answer, you are not letting yourself receive it. Remember, it’s ok to not know every single detail, but trust that more will be revealed to you when you make a step forward.

Do you desire to get clear on what you really want in your business and how to create it? Are you done struggling with not knowing what to do and letting it hold you back from receiving more clients? Are you ready to take responsibility and gift yourself the much needed thinking space to receive the answers you are seeking while being guided? Then I invite you to book a free consultation with me here.

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