How to be successful in two simple steps

Earlier this week, during a conversation with a friend, a successful woman running her own business, she shared with me that she is no longer interested in working hard and achieving new heights in her career. This, she says, is common amongst her other female friends who have successful post-graduate degrees or spent some years working to get ahead in their career. What is it? Are women simply not interested in being successful?

 

This got me thinking about success and what it really means to be successful.

As a modern society, we tend to be obsessed with achieving more success and getting to the next point or milestone, or, worse, comparing our success to those of people around us.

Success is defined as (this is a dictionary definition):

1) the favourable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavours; the accomplishment of one’s goals

2) the attainment of wealth, position, honours, or the like.

I don’t know about you, but to me this is very limiting and more importantly, not motivating.

It gets even more confusing when we start talking about a successful career or business. Are you only successful if you have accomplished all your goals? Or received certain amount of wealth or a position that is seen as successful? But how much wealth makes you successful? And position seen by whom?

I have noticed that many women struggle with the idea of success. I was talking to a client who is setting up her own business. She wants to be successful but does not know how to get there and is afraid she will fail, so she feels paralysed. A conversation with another woman ended up in a confession that she simply no longer knows what success means and how she is supposed to be successful after years of pursuing it.

The problem is not that these women do not have what it takes, are not smart or determined enough to be successful, the problem is they cannot relate to some theoretical concept defined by someone else. How are you supposed to achieve something if you don’t fully understand its meaning for you? And what happens when you achieve it? Do you instantly know it? Is your life better? Are all your problems solved?

How to be successful now 

1. Define success for yourself

Success is not how other people see you but how you see and value yourself. What does success mean for you? Imagine yourself living your version of success. How does it make you feel? Feel it in your body, with your emotions. If it’s anything less than happy and excited, then you need to change your definition. And this is the beauty of making a concept real for you – you immediately feel in your body when something is out of alignment with what you really desire.

This is my definition:

Success for me is having time and space in my life to do what I love, bringing value and making a difference, enjoying what I have already received and created in my life every day, being able to give myself the experiences I desire, such as pampering, travel, exploring culture, self-development, being visible with my self-expression and touching lives of others, being inspired and inspiring others, having the support I require in my life and work, living where I want to live and feeling free.

What is yours? Share below in the comments area.

These are some of the experiences that make me feel successful:

 

2. Be the success (as opposed to achieve success)

Embody your version of success now, not when you achieved a big goal, not when you earned enough money. You will always have another goal to achieve. How do you know which one of them means you are successful? Choose to be successful now. Look at your definition of success. What elements from your definition can you embody today?

And coming back to the thought that women are not interested in being successful or are choosing to not work hard on their career after a certain point. What these women are not interested in is being successful on someone else’s terms. And by choosing their own path of having and experiencing what makes them feel good in life, knowingly or unknowingly, they are being successful, because truly successful people manage to create the life they enjoy living rather living up to someone else’s standards.

 

 

Are you ready to define success for yourself and start being successful today in business and life? I invite you to book a complimentary discovery session to find out where to begin.